5 Lessons I Learned from Ina Garten's Long-Awaited Memoir

Who doesn’t love Ina Garten?! Like so many of us, I’ve been a fan for as long as I can remember, and I have the rainbow of Barefoot Contessa cookbooks lined up on my kitchen shelf to prove it. The pages inside are dog-eared and splattered, evidence of their good use over the years. When I was in my early 30s, and in that stage of life when it seems like you’re attending a shower of some sort every weekend, her roasted shrimp and orzo was the dish I took to every party. I made her coconut cake for my husband’s birthday, the beef tenderloin for Christmas dinner, blue cheese coleslaw for summer cookouts, and her Italian wedding soup on chilly Sunday afternoons.

Suffice it to say, Ina has taught me a lot over the years. (I never made bacon in a skillet again after she taught me how to bake it. As Ina would say, how easy is that?) Then I read her new memoir, Be Ready When the Luck Happens, which is out now. One of the most anticipated books of the year, it delivers. This isn’t a “how I became a star” story but an honest portrayal of her life that does not shy away from the gritty details of an awful childhood. It’s also an ode to her husband, Jeffrey, and her commitment to building a life centered on happiness, first and foremost. In short, Ina has a lot of wisdom to impart beyond what she’s shared standing at her kitchen counter. Here are some of my takeaways.

If you really love what you do, you'll be good at it
In the early '80s, Ina was working in the White House, writing nuclear energy policy. It was a Serious Job that surely sounded impressive at cocktail parties, but she was bored to death. One day at work, she spotted an ad in the newspaper for a small gourmet store in the Hamptons. Even though she had zero professional culinary experience, she loved to cook and spent much of her free time doing it. When she mentioned the ad to Jeffrey, he gave her what she says is the best advice, something lots of us have heard but few actually follow: "If you really love what you do, you’ll be good at it."
You can learn as you go
There was nothing practical about Ina’s decision to quit her job and buy the store. She lived in Washington, D.C., and the store was in New York. She had no experience. But she didn’t let that stop her. Unlike so many of us, who get stuck in the “Should I/shouldn’t I?” decision-making loop, she just went for it. You don’t have to research every bit of minutiae to take your next step. You just need to start. What makes her leap so remarkable is that her difficult childhood (in which she was routinely criticized for not being good enough) led to a severe lack of confidence. She could have let her insecurity derail her, but she pushed past it.

Play the part
Ina noticed that some of her early customers weren’t treating her like the business owner she was. What did she do? She walked to the jewelry store across the street from her shop and bought a gold statement necklace to project more authority. As she shows, it helps to act like the person you want to be perceived as, even if you’re not feeling it on the inside.

Don't settle
Ina and Jeffrey are famously in love, but she graciously gives an honest account of their long marriage in her memoir. She reveals the growing pains they’ve felt, and how, once her business got rolling and they found themselves moving in separate directions, it took a period of separation and counseling for the two of them to create a life that worked for both of them, where neither would have to sacrifice their dreams. True partners, she taught me, work together to give each other the life they want.
Take credit!
At the end of her memoir, Ina says that even once she became a household name, she used to brush off people’s compliments about her success with some version of “I just got lucky.” Then another über-successful woman basically told her to cut it out. Too many people, and especially women, don’t acknowledge their hard work. You put in the time, so even if your success is so sweet that it feels like a stroke of luck, own that you were the one who made it happen.